So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
