Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Watching her eat just hurts me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
