how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
