16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
