just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
