dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
