Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
