Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She needs sedatives and a leash
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
