I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
