Hey man sorry I got all grabby
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
