it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
