it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
