My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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