At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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