Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
