ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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