Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
