Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
