who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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