You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
