woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
