Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
