You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
