the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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