Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
