Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
