id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
