The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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