You made me cry and you don't even care
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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