Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
