Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
