I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
