plz talk dirty to me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
