Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
