i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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