We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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