people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
