Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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