i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
