After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
