so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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