come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
