If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
