Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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