are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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