I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
