After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
