sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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