she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
