did you get engaged???
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
