I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
