marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.