Nicole vs. Life
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.