I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
