just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The best revenge is premature balding
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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