it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
