felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
