how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
