Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
