I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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