i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
