Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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